Malfunction Junktion !

Ray McCune's Website

Here's a Lifesaver!

Make sure everyone knows how to work the Equipment you are using!

This one goes back to when I bought my Heliarc welder. I bought it on Ebay and had to go to somewhere clear on the east side of PA. to pick it up. I had Russ's little purple truck which Emory, the guy I bought it from, said would carry it nicely, and the gas cost wouldn't cripple me. Well It went great on his end, he had a fork lift, and had obviously done this before. But it did make for a long day, so when I got home it was nearly dark. All I really wanted was to get it out of the truck, into the garage, and get in for the night. For some reason the future farm wife was the only one available to help me get it out of the truck. I used an engine hoist to lift the welder out of the truck. The welder had a nice lift eye built into the top of it just for such an operation and it was well within the capacity of the hoist. I removed the really nice roll around base, and had it ready to set the welder into. I drove the truck out from under the welder, and began to lower the welder into the closely fit frame on wheels that came with it. Actually I had Chris lower it, as it was sort of swinging and a really well fitted base that meant it had to be straight level and just so, to set in it properly. As my incredible skills would have it, I managed to get a finger between the frames upright section built to support the argon tanks, and the top of the welder case. It was like being in a large scissors, maybe clipper would be a more appropriate descriptor, because it was getting very near clipping my finger very nicely off! I yelled STOP! And Chris did immediately, the little oversight I found out at that point, the small lack in her training, the stupid thing I had done this time, was not tell her how to lift with the engine hoist, I only told her how to lower it. I find it hard to instruct calmly as I'm having a finger totally chopped off. I was actually crying from the pain (tears and everything) as I told her, no, I yelled at her, how to change the handle, she had been using to operate the drain cock, and lower the 500# amputation machine into its cart, and use it to pump the arm back up and let me retrieve my nearly severed appendage from the jaws of "chopped clear off!" Well I don't want to get overly dramatic here but I was sure that finger was a goner. But even with me yelling at her, she managed to get things set correctly and lift the welder back up, and gave me my finger back , still attached. And though an odd shape for a couple days, it later regained it's normal sensations and movement, except now and then it does predict a change in the weather. Seems to be sensitive to sudden, larger than usual, barometric swings.

The point being, teach those who help you all the steps, and functions of the things they are helping you with.

A corollary story to this, is from the days of Viet Nam. Nope I was never there, I heard this story from the Helicopter mechanics who were, and taught me. Most of the Warrant Officers who flew in helicopters with the second pilot position being filled by their Crew Chief (helicopter mechanic) taught the mechanics to fly the plane as well. Oddly enough, though the military didn't see a value in it, the CW's (Chief Warrant Officer) thought anybody capable of fixing the plane should know how to fly it. Because they were both being shot at, if the pilot was hit, the mechanic could save them both. Many of these guys (CW's) had just learned to fly themselves, and the techniques were pretty fresh in their minds, so they started teaching their mechanics to fly, and particularly how to land. And I was told, quite a few planes with wounded pilots were brought back by miraculously capable mechanics. Makes so much sense, I want to believe it.

And another thing. ( Nice Seguae Huh?) When you are driving down the expressway at about 65 MPH,(Yeah Right) and you are being annoyed by your dashboard flashing weird lights at you, like, (OD Off) when you are sure that it isn't. Don't slam the shifter into reverse. The damn thing might do it! Which could cause the car to lurch a couple different directions and the engine to stall, with a hideous sucking sound. Now if you were ever to do this, don't tell anyone, they will really shake their heads at you when they see you next... But really, who would think the freakin' car would actually shift into reverse when you are going forward at nearly 70? Isn't there some kind of idiot over-ride? Now I had intended to shift to neutral, and coast a bit, so the tranny could reset itself, maybe? I was looking for a clue to why the (OD Off) was flashing. When I turn the OD Off , that's the overdrive button, which I did have a time with previously, the light is supposed to illuminate, not flash. So that means something else, now the car is from the last century, and currently has about 244,000 miles on it, so It might not have appreciated the little trip into a black hole. And I think the new tires might have a flat spot on them. Anyway, I replaced the filter and checked for loose chunks in the tranny and disconnected the battery. To reset everything. At this point the worst problem we have had is the tranny has a few quirks when it's icy out. And the throttle sticks occassionaly. If you can get your toe under the gas pedal and lift up, it usually slows down. Chris thought it would be a good idea to throw the car into neutral when it sticks which allows the engine to race way past red line. Of course I told her just turn off the key and be careful of the steering wheel lock. You better be aimed the right direction if you lock the steering wheel. I think we need to start looking for a car from this century though I'm sure it won't be as easy to work on. Personally, I'd rather have a WWII military jeep and a duece and a half. But I can't imagine the whining if it got cold in a rag top. So for now I'm stuck with civilian cars, but I can dream right? And they don't go into reverse when you are trying to reset a dash light, they don't have dash lights!